Tuesday, December 06, 2005

And Sometimes I'm Perplexed

It's been forever, I know. And I'm sorry. Man, the way you guys want new posts from me makes me feel so popular! Thanks! ;) I do have some things to say, but there's so much in my brain that's jumbled lately, thoughts on this and that, but not very many conclusions. And I hate to leave you without conclusions, but maybe it's okay to do that sometimes. I guess that's what we do here anyway: we post stuff and then have little discussions in comment form. I didn't want my page to be a "This is the be-all and end-all and that's that" type of blog, but just various things I think about, like (or maybe don't like), and want to share with those I like.... which is YOU!

So today's post is part rant, part awareness raising, and partly random thoughts.

1. Who ever came up with the notion of, "I can love so and so, but I don't have to like them"? Do we think the Bible really says this? I'm hard pressed to find any verses where Jesus taught or modeled such an idea. To me it just sounds like an excuse to hate those who think or act differently under the guise of spiritual sounding talk. Let me say so clearly that I'm the first one who doesn't love others as she should and who is the worst at obeying the second biggest commandment. There are so many people I really don't like. REALLY don't like. But when we claim to be loving others and at the same time really 'dislike' them (read that: hate) in our hearts, that's not love. And in doing that we're not only disobeying Jesus, but at the same time patting ourselves on the back and thinking we're such good Christians. God help us. God help me. I don't want to be like that anymore.

2. Let's talk about judgment a little bit. I used to think it was okay to judge someone as long as I made sure I didn't falter in that area of my own life first. Now I don't think so. What happens when we judge? We set ourselves up as someone else's master instead of leaving that job to God (Rom. 14:4). And I'm not talking about church discipline, but about "the people that you meet when you're walking down the street, it's the people that you meet each day" (I think Sesame Street is right on about who's my neighbor).

My high school biology teacher had a friend who'd undergone cancer treatment and lost his hair. One day the two were walking together in a mall when a woman saw them and berated my teacher's friend for being a neo-nazi.

A girl I know of had her baby with her on the bus one day, and a woman said to her, "I don't know how you do it, being a single mother and having to take public transportation!" To which this girl replied, "My husband has our car at work today."

There are a million more examples.

What possesses us to think we can make these assumptions? What convinces us that we have all the facts? I'm sure that even if we think we know someone else's situation, there are details we're missing. Why not leave the judgment to God? We're not even competant anyway! Our job is to love others, not judge them. I don't think those who are focused on loving have the time to judge.

I heard a song today that's pretty relevant and probably what reminded me of this topic today. It's 'Does Anybody Hear Her?' by Casting Crowns. Great song.

3. A guy friend of mine told me recently about XXXchurch, a website with help and downloadable accountability software for people enslaved to pornography. I think it really is the odd guy (by that I mean uncommon, not abnormal) who doesn't struggle with porn; most do. People are on both sides of the fence about the site - there's some fun 'hate mail' you can read to learn what certain Christians and nonChristians think about it all - but it looks pretty effective to me. The software is cool. According to the website, this is what it does: "Whenever you browse the Internet and access a site which may contain questionable material, the program will save the site name on your computer. Approximately every 30 days or 2 weeks (depending on your preference), a person of your choice (an accountability partner) will receive an email containing all possible questionable sites you may have visited within the month. This information is meant to encourage open and honest conversation between friends and help us all be more accountable." Good stuff for dealing with bad stuff. I applaud every guy who makes a concerted effort to get away from porn.

4. Do you think it's possible for major poverty to be wiped out in one generation? Why not? Jars of Clay's aid organization, Blood:Water Mission, has a goal to build one thousand wells in Africa, providing clean water in rural areas. Imagine men and women with HIV/AIDS having a prolonged life because the spread of preventable disease was slowed as they now have clean water. Imagine children not having to walk miles every day for water but instead being able to go to school.

"We shall not finally defeat AIDS, tuberculosis, malaria, or any of the other infectious deseases that plague the developing world until we have also won the battle for safe drinking water, sanitation and basic health care." - Kofi Annan, United Nations Secretary-General

www.bloodwatermission.org says that $1 provides one year of clean water for an African. The goal is to build a well in 1000 communities, most wells costing between $2000 and $5000 US depending on location and the difficulty of drilling. Worth it, since 80% of all deaths in developing countries are caused by water-borne illnesses.

Well, that should give you some things to chew on. I'll try not to take so long to blog next time! Thanks for hearing me out!

6 comments:

Jenn said...

What a great blog...probably the best blog entry I have ever read because it is real, true, and inspiring.

thanks Michelle!

J Man said...

1. I think it is possible to love someone without liking them. There are times when I don't like people in my family, but would I ever say that I don't love them? Definitely not.

2. I think one the biggest reasons why we shouldn't judge is that when we, in our humanness, judge, we seem to automatically condemn, as well. And, when we condemn, we not only bring down condemnation on the subject of our judgement, we also bring it down on ourselves; for, "whoever breaks one law is guilty of breaking the whole law." There is no way - even if we're clean in the area of what we are judging - that we are innocent of every wrong.
We're just as guilty as the next person. Which is why God had to make a Way, Himself, for us to be united with Him. If He'd left it to us, we'd surely be a lot worse off!


3. Accontability is important and good; however, the trick is to find true accontability. Many men will tell you that it just isn't there; so, we're left to our own devices to find freedom through law (if you do this enough, or don't do that enough, you'll eventually be free). See point 2. for reasons why it doens't work.
The only place, IME, that true accountability can be experienced is in a group context. One-to-one just doesn't provide enough support. It's a two-legged stool, which is fun to balance for a while, but in the long run just becomes too hard.

4. Possible? Yes. Probable? I'm not sure. Surely there is enough money. But, are there enough people who care? We're a couple of generations removed from the hippy movement; which had a good shot at it. However, I think it was just a fad.
But, there seems to be a growing awareness - a global concious, as Paul Martin put it yesterday - that something can be done. There are a number of organizations in North America who are aiming to eliminate poverty ASAP... within this lifetime.
I think as long as we do have the empoverished's best interests at heart, we should go for it. However, many people are just helping because "it's the right thing to do". The worst thing we can do is make people dependant on aid.
"Give a man a fish, heal eat for today; but, teach him to fish and heal eat for life."

Michelle said...

Yeah, about #1. I know that we love certain people while disliking them and that love shows in our actions. I know that we sometimes don't like people (family members are a perfect example) but we still want what's best for them. Can the difference be found in the type of love (agape, philia, eros, storge)? We can love sacrificially and without condition (agape) (well, some people can, that's a hard love to learn) while not feeling particularly affectionate toward them (philia). (If we couldn't, no marriage would be successful.) I guess the thing that bothers me is that the phrase, 'I can love them but I don't have to like them' is used mostly in situations apart from family - probably said mostly by children, but definitely practiced by people the world over. Jesus taught that hating others is akin to murder, and that stands in stark contrast to agape love. I want us to stop kidding ourselves and saying that we love someone when in reality we hate them. This doesn't mean we should harbour that hatred, but start admitting that we need God's help to love, because it's clear that we aren't doing it on our own. One of the things I'm beginning to strive for is not to love others more. It's like them more.

Michelle said...

Thank you Jenn. Your encouragement inspires ME.

J Man said...

To like the unlikable more??? Now that's ambition!

Vagabondsoul said...

1). I once read a spectacular article by Mike Yaconelli (R.I.P.) about loving the unlovable. After a few poignant illustrations, he says, "If God can do small things like heal the sick, raise the dead, or do miracles, then he can do the really huge, nearly impossible things like give me love for the unlovable, compassion for hurting, and to be nonjudgmental. I can love my wife, kids, and fellow man as Christ loves the church." Wow.
2). The key is to define the word "judgment." The way you described the word, I would agree with you; however, there is a time and place to say someone or some belief is wrong. But that's not the context to which you refer in this post, and so therefore, my statement I just made is irrelevant. Ha, ha. (I agreed with you).
3). I saw the XXX CHurch founders in Winnipeg a few weeks ago. They do great stuff. I don't know any man, personally, who isn't tempted by it. Real accountability comes in clearly defined, healthy relationships.
4). If everyone had their priorities straight, there would be no poverty.