A Little Cross-Cultural Lesson

Next Spring Break our youth group will be joining about 50 other local high school students for a 10-day mission trip to Mexico. We'll be primarily doing construction work.

Lark News has beautifully addressed a common concern regarding such a trip as they detail a letter from Amy; she is seeking advice from a full-time missionary.

(She lives in the States, so there are minor variations, but the same principles apply.)


Q: Dear Missionary,

Help! I took a short-term missions trip to Honduras and really bonded with the people. But one of the boys tracked me down when I got home and wants to marry me and live with my family while he attends college! He has called me several times to tell me I am his family's "angel."

What do I do? What if he comes to visit me? My parents and I are freaked out!

Amy, 19, Memphis, Tenn.


A: Dear Amy,

What a wonderful experience you must have had! Too bad you contracted a bad case of "native-itis." But it can be remedied — with some tough love.

Get out your favorite pen and write a letter to this over-zealous youngster — using a fake return address, of course. Explain that, as admirable as you find his little dreams of a better life, you are not responsible to help him. Be clear: You are an American. He, by chance, is not. You owe him nothing beyond that week of intense bonding and camaraderie you shared in the jungle. If this boy and his family had any manners at all they would say, "Thank you for building the cinderblock church sanctuary for us." And then they would leave you alone.

You see, many non-Americans don't understand that Americans have our own "issues" to deal with, like rising home equity rates, credit card bills, gift shopping at crowded malls — the list goes on. They see us on missions trips and assume charity work is all we do! If only it could be so.

If your letter doesn't work, and his unwanted advances continue, send him the book Boundaries by Henry Cloud, which is available in Spanish. I assume the poor fellow can read. But do NOT send money, or you will attract not only him, but many of his cousins, like cats to a saucer of milk on the backporch. As a last resort, consider that you live in Tennessee, which has a liberal concealed weapon law, if this makes you feel safer.

Good luck and God bless.